As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
