She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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