Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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