A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
