so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
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