does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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