I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Be still, my beating vagina.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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