Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
