I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
