hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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