Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
