life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
