i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
