Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i will never coherently bang her
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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