Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
