It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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