I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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