this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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