I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
