and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Randomize
