if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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