I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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