SEEEEXXX PLEASE
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
