after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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