Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
