I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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