She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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