whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
