More tranny stories later!
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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