i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
