k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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