stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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