how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Randomize
