Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
