at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Are my feet made of real feet?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
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