i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
