just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
