im about as happy as oj after his trial
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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