you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
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