hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
