Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
