is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
