Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
