Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
