Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
