last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
