I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
