Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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