I can tuck mytits in my pants
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
