Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
