I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
