Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
