he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Randomize
