Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
